


Crown Shyness

by GreyMichaela



Series: Crown Shyness [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6174757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyMichaela/pseuds/GreyMichaela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is--</p><p>The thing is, Poe Dameron is tactile. He’s expressive and volatile and talks with his hands, dark eyes alight with joy as he weaves his stories and always, always, he’s in contact with someone.</p><p>He’s leaning against Snap’s shoulder as he eats custard bread and talks about life on Yavin 4. He’s got an arm around Jessika’s waist while he spins a wild story of running from smugglers (after winning their cargo in a poker game). His hand rests on Nien Nunb’s thigh as they eat dinner, or he laces his fingers with Karé Kun’s as they sprawl in the common room after their shifts.</p><p>But he never touches Finn like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crown Shyness

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to my incomparable bestie/beta, Aaliya, who came up with the title. Crown shyness is when the canopies of trees grow close but don't quite touch. 
> 
> This may or may not grow into an actual fic. We'll see how my brain behaves on the matter. If so, the rating will definitely change and there will be smut later on.

Poe, all smiles and white teeth and flashing eyes, legendary among the garrisons for his talents in and out of bed---Poe doesn’t touch Finn. He always seems delighted to _see_  him, inviting Finn to eat with him and his crew, taking him around the base to meet everyone he knows (and Poe knows a _lot_  of people), and seeking him out on his downtime, but ever since Finn woke up from his coma, Poe has not touched Finn once.

The thing is, Finn understands. He’s an outsider. Some still question his loyalty to the Resistance. He has nothing to offer someone like Poe, the bright and shining star that draws others into his orbit. Finn is just... ordinary. Nothing special. No great talent to offer the fight against the First Order except a knowledge of the sanitation systems on Starkiller Base.

BB-8 finds him at the base of a tree on the edge of the landing strip, Finn’s feet out in front of him and his hands resting on his stomach as he gazes up into the leafy branches. Finn loves trees. He loves the smell of them, the feel of the bark under his fingers, the noise they make when the wind blows through them. If he’s not helping Leia with information on the stormtroopers and all the tidbits of knowledge he can remember about Ren and Hux and Phasma, it’s an even bet Finn is out under the trees, if not in them.

The little droid beeps inquisitively and Finn rolls his head against the trunk of the tree to smile at him. He’s learning binary but it’s slow going. Thankfully, BB-8 is patient.

“Does Leia need me?” Finn asks.

BB-8 whistles a negative. [FRIEND-POE---LOOKING---YOU]

Finn sits up, startled. “Poe is looking for me? Is everything okay?”

[MISSION---] Finn’s binary fails him as BB-8 continues to beep and Finn scrambles to his feet and runs for the hangar bay.

He finds Poe near a small freighter that’s seen better days, talking to Nunb, and Finn slows, a little startled at seeing Poe in civilian clothes. Poe’s pants are dark brown and he’s wearing a soft green-grey tunic over them. His blaster hangs from the wide belt clasped around his hips, and knee-high boots complete the ensemble.

Finn approves. Enthusiastically. The pants hug Poe’s ass and define the muscles in his legs, and the color of the tunic brings out the olive tint to his skin. Poe turns to see him and a smile flashes across his face.

“Buddy! Glad you could make it! Did BB-8 explain everything to you?”

Finn shakes his head. “I only got that you needed me for a mission. Is it an emergency?”

Poe laughs, directing a fond look at the droid. “Not an emergency. Just a quick supply run with an extra stop, and General Organa suggested I bring you along, partly because you’ll like this world, partly because you’ll help me blend in.” He kneels to address BB-8. “Sorry, buddy, but you’re gonna have to stay behind for this one. You’re a little too recognizable lately, and we’re supposed to be undercover.”

BB-8 beeps dolefully and Poe grins as he stands and turns to Finn. “Ready?”

 

 

Finn waits until they’ve broken atmosphere and Poe’s plotted the course before he speaks. “So what exactly are we doing?”

Poe kicks his feet up on the control panel, leaning back in the captain’s chair with a satisfied sigh. “We're going to Fa’ilde 7, to talk to the leader of the Silma. The General’s been in talks with them for awhile to develop a base for the Resistance there, and she sent me to look at the specs and plans that they’ve put together before they start building. It’ll be at least an hour, so if you want to grab some rack time, now’s your chance.”

Finn shakes his head. “Can I---I’d like to stay with you.”

He’s rewarded by Poe’s brilliant smile. “I’d like that,” Poe says, and he sounds like he means it.

Poe brings out his cards, the ones he’s never without, and cocks an eyebrow at Finn, who nods. Poe’s been teaching him to play various card games, but Finn mostly enjoys watching Poe’s deft fingers shuffling the deck, flicking through the cards with the ease of long practice, and absently wondering what it would be like to have Poe’s hands on him.

Finn spends the entire hour trying to figure out how to ask Poe why he never touches him, and every time he thinks he's figured out his approach, he loses his nerve at the last second. He keeps his head down, eyes on the cards in his hands, as Poe tells yet another of his stories--this one to do with his mother, Shara.

Finn finds himself enthralled in spite of himself as Poe describes Shara's daring feats during the Battle of Endor, and from there goes on to describe how she used to take him up with her in her X-wing.

"I wish I could have met her," Finn says when Poe lapses into silence.

Poe smiles, but there's sorrow behind it. "She would've loved you," he says quietly.

The ship shrills at them - they're about to enter Fa'ilde 7's atmosphere - and Poe spins his chair to take manual control again.

When they break through the cloud cover, Finn sucks in a breath. "Oh," he whispers, suddenly understanding why Poe had brought him. Fa'ilde 7 is a forest world, trees stretching in a dense, leafy canopy as far as he can see in every direction. Finn turns to see Poe smiling at him, something soft and unrecognizable in his eyes. 

"Kinda figured that'd be your reaction," Poe says lightly. He points to a clearing ahead. "Welcoming party will be waiting for us there. Let me do the talking."

He sets the ship down smoothly and drops the bay door, gesturing for Finn to follow him out onto the packed earth of the clearing. Three individuals are standing under the trees off to one side, talking in animated tones as they wait for Poe and Finn to approach. One steps out ahead of the others, bowing in welcome. They are small, barely five feet tall, with pale green skin and coarse, dark brown hair woven in intricate braids around their delicate skulls. Eyes black from lid to lid blink up at Finn as the leader holds out a long, slim hand and Poe accepts it, bowing over it.

"Welcome," they say in a high, fluting voice. "Thou are Poe Dameron? I am Kauva of Allektu clan, of Ilesha tribe. We are honored by thy presence."

"I am honored to be here," Poe says. "I am Poe Dameron, son of Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, of Yavin 4." He turns and gestures to Finn. "This is my friend, Finn."

Finn steps forward and bows as well, emulating Poe as best he can.

Kauva cocks their head. "What is thy clan and tribe, Poe's friend Finn, that we may know thee?"

Finn opens his mouth and closes it again, feeling helpless. Surely Poe doesn't want the Silma to know his origins, not when they're on the verge of a peace treaty with the Resistance. "Dameron," he hears Poe say, and Finn's eyes stretch wide as Poe continues. "He is Finn Dameron, adopted son of Leia Organa, once of Alderaan, now of D'Qar."

Kauva clasps their hands together, delight flickering across their features. "Be welcome, Finn Dameron. This is my companion, Setesha, of clan Ukotula and Ilesha tribe, and my bondmate Teo, once of Letera clan and Nemashu tribe, now of Allektu clan. As Poe's bondmate, thou shall be accorded the warmest welcome. Please to follow us."

All three Silma turn and vanish into the trees and Finn looks at Poe, who looks as stunned as Finn feels.

 _Bondmate?_  Finn mouths.

Poe shrugs helplessly, but his lips are twitching. "Sorry," he whispers, "I panicked."

They follow the Silma into the forest and find them waiting at the base of a huge tree, the trunk bigger around than the freighter they arrived on. Steps are carved in a graceful spiral up the trunk and disappearing into the canopy overhead, and Kauva gestures for Finn and Poe to precede them.

They climb for what feels like an eternity, up into the heavy foliage until the ground is out of sight below them and Finn is dizzy from the height and from being so close to Poe as they take each step side by side, their shoulders brushing occasionally.

Finally Kauva signals a stop and cups their hands around their mouth. An echoing trill falls from their lips and an answering one is heard from the next tree over. Kauva pulls a lever that Finn hadn't noticed and the branches in front of them lift, revealing a wooden bridge connecting their tree to the next.

They travel in this manner for longer than Finn can track, until his legs are aching and his breath is harsh in his lungs. Poe, beside him, looks almost disheveled for once, his perfect hair sticking to his forehead as he gasps for air. 

"We are sorry for the arduous journey," Kauva says, sounding unhappy. "But precautions must be taken. There are those among our tribes who are displeased with the treaty, and we must keep thee safe."

They usher them across another swaying bridge and pull open a door, set flush against the trunk and hidden among the leaves. "Setesha has given thee their home for thy stay," Kauva says, and Setesha smiles, bobbing their head and gesturing for them to enter.

"Tonight there will be a feast to properly welcome thee," Kauva says as they step across the threshold into the room. "But for now, thou should rest. We will retrieve thee when our people are gathered."

With that, they withdraw, leaving Finn and Poe standing together in the tiny room. It's perfectly circular, the windows propped open on slats to catch the breeze that skims through the branches, the sun through the leaves casting a dappled pattern on the floor at their feet. There's a pile of pillows along one wall that looks terribly enticing, and Finn stumbles toward them with a groan, sinking into their softness with a happy sigh. 

He looks up to see Poe standing over him, indecision on his face. Finn pats the pillow beside him and Poe gnaws on his lip but finally curls up on his side next to Finn, facing him.

Finn smiles at him. "So, a base, huh?"

Poe nods. "There's something about the trees here that makes them impervious to detection from First Order tech. It's the perfect hiding place. In return, we're giving them protection from the First Order, as well as a combination of credits, food, and resources they don't have access to here."

"Why don't you ever touch me?" Finn blurts.

Poe freezes and a hush falls over the room.

Finn closes his eyes, mortification flooding him. "It's not important. Never mind. Forget I asked, I'm sorry--"

When he opens his eyes, Poe hasn't moved, dark eyes searching Finn's face.

Finn gathers his courage in both hands. "It's just--you touch everyone.  _Everyone_. If you're friends with someone, you touch them. It's not even sexual, necessarily--although I've heard the stories--but it's like you have to be in constant contact with people. Except for me. You haven't touched me since..." He swallows hard. "Since I woke up. I don't... I don't understand. You seem to like me, but you won't--"

Poe's still silent as Finn shuts up abruptly and rubs his face with a shaking hand.

"I'm sorry," he continues. "Pretend I didn't say anything. Let's go back to being friends."

Poe reaches out, then, and places a hand on Finn's chest, over his heart. Finn sucks in a breath at the feeling of Poe's hand, warm and solid, resting on his chest, and holds very still.

"I don't touch you," Poe whispers, "because if I start, I'll never stop."

Finn looks up, into Poe's eyes, as a bubble of hope lodges itself under his breastbone.

"Because you're... _you_ , and you deserve better than a middle-aged flyboy who can't settle down," Poe continues, a catch in his voice. "I've got nothing to offer you, Finn. Nothing except a life expectancy that can be measured in  _minutes_ when I go into battle. I was afraid--afraid that if I touched you, you'd know how I feel about you." His throat works as he swallows, and he flexes his hand where it's resting on Finn's heart, and the hope begins to swell. "Because I love you," he manages, his voice shaking. "But I won't trap you into anything."

He pulls his hand away and Finn reaches out, catching Poe's face and yanking him forward into a bruising and desperate kiss. Poe gasps and kisses back with matching urgency, teeth bumping and clicking together as they devour each other's mouths. 

Poe smells like goldfruit and honeycomb and sweat, his curls damp between Finn's fingers and his breath hot on Finn's skin, and he kisses like his life depends on it. Finn thinks perhaps he's drowning, or that he's taking his first real breath, and he laughs against Poe's mouth and kisses him harder.


End file.
